when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Randomize
