Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Randomize
