So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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