i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
