Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
