Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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