I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize