i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
