I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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