So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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