i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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