I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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