so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Randomize
