The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
this hospital has no fireball
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Randomize
