I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
