wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
