He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
