Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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