ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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