I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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