Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
