Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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