I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
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