The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
