it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
