I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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