i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
