I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Randomize
