Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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