i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
