Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
My penis needs a shock collar
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
