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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
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