i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
COCAINE IS GR8
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
