Everything about him screamed your future.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Randomize
