Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Randomize