The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Randomize
