i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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