well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
My life is pants optional.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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