I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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