May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
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