As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Randomize
