I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
