I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize