Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
