So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Randomize
