my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
