What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize