You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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