True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
