remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
can u get pink eye on your cock?
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
