Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Randomize
