I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
