Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Randomize
