i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
