Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
