So drunk its hurt
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Randomize
