that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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